Asides

Asides

What’s my reward for staring down my obsessive-compulsive disorder and going inside a Dunkin Donuts during the pandemic, rather than using the drive-thru?

Straws. As many freakin’ straws as I want. And napkins too.

In addition to bakery fire burns, bruised jaws, and deep gashes, I can now add printing acid injuries and goat injuries to the list of bodily traumas I’ve had to Google in my Stars Fall Out research.

I found a site called MoonConnection.com in my Stars Fall Out research. It seems like a nice enough site, but what a waste that it’s just lunar information and not a werewolf dating site.

If I am ever granted three wishes, I shall waste one of them swapping handwriting with one of those people who prints in small caps.

Or a cybernetic arm that does the same thing. I’ve thought about this too much.

Continuing last summer’s re-read of the Dune series by Frank Herbert, I picked up with God Emperor of Dune a few days ago.

My reading choices are often dictated by whim or nostalgia, and so Dune has to be read in the summer, just like the first time I read it.

So far, I’m enjoying the character of Leto II quite a bit. Where Paul Atreides is all doomy and self-important, Leto II is much more fun and quixotic.

Every time I have to put on my extrovert hat, I am reminded first that it does not fit well, and second that I do not, in fact, own an extrovert hat.

Everyone knows “Take On Me,” but I submit that “The Sun Always Shines on TV” is the superior a-ha song. I rediscover it every few years and listen to it endlessly.

https://youtu.be/a3ir9HC9vYg

I’m not one of those people who believe that swearing signifies a weak vocabulary, but today I edited eight “damns” out of a story to submit to a clean market, and I had a lot of fun figuring out alternatives. Confounded alternatives.

Just because Trump is out of office doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the Trump Ipsum placeholder text generator a little longer.

I don’t think anybody knows it was Russia that wrote Lorem Ipsum, but I don’t know, maybe it was. It could be Russia, but it could also be China. It could also be lots of other people. It also could be some wordsmith sitting on their bed that weights 400 pounds. Ok? We are going to make placeholder text great again. Greater than ever before. The other thing with Lorem Ipsum is that you have to take out its family.

It’s official: I’m no longer the protagonist of my own life.

I’ve now lost so many of my things that I’ve crossed a threshold of comic ridiculousness and turned into a quirky side character in my own life.

Notebooks, index cards, sweaters, flannel shirts, water bottles, a bowl of cereal that I just poured milk on…

Here’s to hoping I can blame this on pandemic-brain.

What does a 1,125 page manuscript need more than anything?

Apparently 92 more scenes. *facepalm*

It’s daunting, but when I’m done, I’ll be able to love the first part of the story as much as the ending.

Even if it doesn’t have nearly as many fires.

At age 35, it would be nice if I finally understood how time works. Instead, this is what it looks like when I try to take a late afternoon hike:

90 minutes before sunset: Intend to go hiking.

50 minutes before sunset: Actually leave to go hiking.

40 minutes before sunset: Arrive at destination and proceed to walk original intended distance, due to inflexibility.

10 minutes before sunset: Run to cover more ground until darkness makes this an unwise course of action.

Sometime after sunset on the line between dusk and night: Arrive back at car with no dire consequences having befallen me, thus reinforcing that I can get away with this, whether or not I actually like it.