A few months ago, I made a list of 36 excellent and useful fake names. I wrote them while doing laundry at my parents’ house, on the type of notepads that charities send out to guilt people into donating money, and found them again today, crumpled in the bottom of my backpack.
Given the rise of silly internet games with the pandemic going on, I thought this would be a good time to post them. Possibly because my brain is broken, I laugh uncontrollably every time I read the full list. My partner, on the other hand, hates them with surprising vehemence, even though they’re totally normal and definitely don’t sound like fake American baseball player names from a 1980s Japanese video game.
Anyway, get out a d12 or a random number generator, pick a list, and find yourself a very respectable alter ego.
Gender Neutral Fake Names
- Leaf Mursha
- Wen Poplar
- Owl Prandialton
- Lee Petrumer
- Trollmiffin Lopez
- Aftere Paux
- Vrettix Van Doozel
- Muffin I. Praxis
- Andy Rathbundle
- Orp Couche-Mingle
- Merkin Printer
- Horple Randomer
Female Fake Names
- Mirande Hopenorton
- Semki Breadcrisp
- Applearia Post-Quantimer
- January Lexington
- Mina Couche-Mingle
- Zaria T. Aftifer
- Hocki Quistington
- Spanielle Pomodoro
- Amora Betterchip
- Susan Lee Krang
- Maligna Romano
- Zinni Botch
Male Fake Names
- Brindle Abernathy
- Sorrell Chaister
- Vrangle S. Posterboi
- Hekatius Merriam
- Morgan Rathbundle
- Edmund Carrifer
- Charkoal Martinez
- Petrumer Pomodoro
- Normandle Preski
- Raster Biktis
- Daedalus Banter
- Olli “Neck” Jones